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In my mind, it was okay not to be okay. I had heard that so many times throughout my childhood. I wanted my life to be somewhat meaningful, and I had so many goals to accomplish; being stuck at a dead-end job, struggling with depression and anxiety, and dealing with a new move was too much to bear. Cherelle, who are you? I continued to ask myself every day while struggling to find myself again. The truth is working in mental health does not precisely help me mentally; patients call in every day; most are Irate and bitter, and some are upset with the world due to the problems they have. My friends and family ask me to be understanding, and my boyfriend constantly says, “Do not let them get to you.” No one is in my shoes. They expect me to stay at a place that no longer fits me. It has been five years, and this chapter needs to be closed.
I keep having this reoccurring dream, that I’m actually where I’m supposed to be. I’m no longer in a career that makes me feel bad, I’m not waking up crying anymore. I have the dream house and the career that suits me but then reality sets in and of course, nothing has changed. I’m still here trying to figure it all out. I’m still here trying to figure out what’s best for me and I don’t even know what that is anymore. Recently moved into a new place learning to live with taking care of a household, learning to be the best version of myself that I can be, going back to therapy to try to fix the things that were never fixed while being told medications will help and I’ve taken about every medication that you can think of and I still feel like I’m in the same place. I’m now stuck trying to figure out what is a good alternative to help me THC or CBD I’m not even sure those will help. I’m just in a place where do I go from here? I can’t keep waking up every day miserable. I can’t keep waking up every day wanting to end it all. I can’t keep waking up every day feeling like it’s never gonna get better when, I know my Calling is to do something else.
I recently started back in therapy, and for a while, I avoided going there, I avoided the problems to not have to speak on them, so sessions didn’t seem to be something, I wanted to do, but after meeting with my new therapist she change my mind, she was close to my age and she reminded me a lot of myself. She didn’t read from a textbook, she spoke to me like we were friends. It was like we were sitting on a couch and I had known her for years. She told me about her life and about the things that she had been through and I told her about mine, she made me feel like we were in a safe space and for the first time I felt heard and seen, I was ready to throw in the towel on so much stuff, but after meeting with her it changed my perspective. I remember the last thing she said to me before the session ended. “All you need is a good friend,someone in your corner, someone to motivate you and be there for you.” That’s when it dawned on me that for the longest time, I wanted to start a blog, I wanted to talk about things that other women could relate to and I wanted to help other people, truth be told Girl Talk Series has been something that was already there, but never really taken seriously enough. I’m glad that, Im pleased to say that Girl Talk Series is finally here and I can’t wait to help other women by sharing my stories. Im ready to see what becomes of this. I will leave you with this final word, welcome to Girl Talk Series, each post will be meaningful and you will fully understand who I am, while we help each other along the way.
Girl Talk Series 